so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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