Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
