Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
you never un-have a 4some
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
