Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
