that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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