i think i have herpe
just one?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
