I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
