My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
