i really wish james franco would like my vagina
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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