Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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