That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
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