I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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