i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
