I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
cat food counts as protein by the way
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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