is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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