Ambien. No doubt about it.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
