Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
