You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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