I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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