god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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