You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
i believe in u and ur pee
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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