She said her name was "party"
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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