The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
