had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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