i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
