dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
