I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize