just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
