I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
