Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
