he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
