I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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