i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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