38 yer olds are good kisserssss
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Randomize
