In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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