Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
