come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
