you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize