I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
