Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
