if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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