So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
