Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
