He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
