i always forget guys have bellybuttons
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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