On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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