My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
