one two three fourrrrnication!
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
