we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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