Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
