i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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