When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
