Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I could make wine with my vomit
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
