I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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