he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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