so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
