my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize