At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize