Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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