Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
