This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
time to smoke my breakfast
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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